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Breaking Free: Overcoming Self-Doubt and Family Expectations

Writer's picture: PerOla Hammar 陈家悦PerOla Hammar 陈家悦

Starting my own company was one of the toughest yet most liberating decisions I’ve ever made. It wasn’t just about entrepreneurship—it was about reclaiming my sense of purpose, confidence, and self-worth after years of feeling diminished in my role within the family business. For a long time, I worried endlessly about what my family, friends, and even acquaintances thought about me. I let their judgments, criticisms, and micromanaging attitudes chip away at my confidence. But I’ve come to a place now where I can finally say: I don’t care anymore.

The Burden of Family Expectations

For years, I struggled with being thin-skinned, particularly when it came to my family. It’s not easy to feel overlooked and unheard, especially when you know you have something solid to offer. I came up with ideas for the business—real, actionable ideas—but they were constantly dismissed or micromanaged to death. The worst part? The disparaging comments that followed, making me doubt my skills and my worth.

The thing is, I believed them. I internalized the judgment and convinced myself I wasn’t good enough. I stayed stuck for longer than I care to admit, trying to fit into a role that had no space for me.

The feeling of being undervalued was stifling. Imagine showing up every day, brimming with ideas and enthusiasm, only to have your voice silenced by those who should be your biggest supporters. It’s exhausting and disheartening, and it takes a toll on your self-worth. The constant pressure to conform to their expectations made me second-guess every decision, every move, and every idea I had.

I wanted so badly to break free from this cycle of doubt and self-criticism. It wasn’t just about proving my worth to them—it was about reclaiming it for myself. But breaking away from family expectations isn’t easy. It’s tangled with layers of emotional ties, obligations, and the fear of disappointing those you love.

Every dismissed idea, every micromanaged project, every snide remark left a mark. It was as if I was living under a magnifying glass, where every flaw was exaggerated and every success was downplayed. My confidence took a hit, and for a long time, I questioned my abilities and my value.

But something in me snapped. I realized I couldn’t keep living under this weight. I needed to find my own path, one where I could flourish without the constant shadow of criticism. It was time to trust myself, to believe in my potential, and to break free from the suffocating grip of family expectations.

The journey wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. I needed to step away, to grow, and to find the confidence that had been chipped away for so long. And so, I took that first step, not knowing where it would lead, but certain that I couldn’t stay where I was any longer.

Carving Your Own Path

Taking the leap to start my own business marked a pivotal moment in my life. The fear of failure was overwhelming. What would people think? How would I face them if I failed? But then, I had an epiphany: the pain of not trying was far greater than the fear of falling short. I realized that staying in the shadows of what I could be was unbearable. I needed to see what I was truly capable of.

The decision to strike out on my own was filled with anxiety and doubt, but it was also liberating. I remember those early days vividly — late nights filled with brainstorming sessions, balancing tight budgets, and navigating the uncharted waters of entrepreneurship. Each step, no matter how small, was a testament to my resolve. It wasn't just about proving something to myself or to others; it was about finding my own voice and trusting it.

In those moments of solitude and hard work, I discovered something incredible: I was stronger and more resourceful than I ever thought possible. The challenges I faced weren’t roadblocks; they were opportunities to grow. I learned to celebrate small victories, to accept setbacks as learning experiences, and to keep moving forward no matter what.

Building my business from the ground up demanded everything I had—every ounce of creativity, every bit of resilience, and every drop of passion. It wasn't easy, but nothing worth doing ever is. With each challenge, I grew more confident in my abilities. I became more decisive, more innovative, and more determined. My journey taught me to value my own judgment and to trust in my capacity to create something meaningful.

As I moved forward, the opinions of others began to fade into the background. What mattered was the work I was doing and the fulfillment I found in it. I was carving out my own path, one that was uniquely mine. And with every step, I felt more empowered, more capable, and more aligned with my true self.

Discovering and Growing in China

Living in China and traveling across Asia played a huge role in shaping who I am today. When you dive into a new culture, especially one as rich and complex as China’s, you’re forced to step out of your comfort zone and adapt quickly. Every day presented a new challenge, from navigating the bustling markets to understanding business etiquette that was worlds apart from what I was used to.

China taught me resilience in ways I never imagined. There were moments when I felt completely out of my depth, grappling with language barriers and different business norms. But in those moments, I learned to think on my feet and persevere. Each challenge was a lesson in adaptability and resourcefulness. Whether it was negotiating with suppliers or figuring out the logistics of importing goods, every hurdle made me stronger and more confident in my abilities.

Traveling throughout Asia further expanded my perspective. It made me realize that the world is vast and filled with countless opportunities and experiences. I saw firsthand the diverse ways people live and work, and it taught me that there’s no single path to success. Each culture I encountered had its unique approach to business and life, and I soaked up every bit of wisdom I could.

These experiences showed me that life is about what you make of it, not what others say about it. I witnessed people overcoming tremendous odds to achieve their dreams, and it inspired me to keep pushing forward, no matter the obstacles in my way. The opinions and judgments that once weighed me down seemed insignificant in the face of the vast world I was exploring.

Every new city, every interaction, and every challenge in Asia helped me grow thicker skin and a broader mindset. The journey was far from easy, but it was incredibly rewarding. It equipped me with the tools and the confidence to carve out my own path, and it reinforced the belief that my worth isn’t defined by others but by what I know I can achieve.

Releasing Fear

Fear had always been a shadow lurking in the background, dictating my actions and decisions. The fear of failing, the fear of judgment, and the fear of disappointing those around me held me captive. But over time, I realized that living in fear is a surefire way to stifle your potential and compromise your dreams.

It wasn't an overnight shift. The journey to releasing fear was gradual, filled with small but significant steps that collectively made a world of difference. I began by embracing the fact that I couldn't control what others thought about me. People will always have opinions, but those opinions don’t define who I am or what I’m capable of achieving.

Each time I faced a daunting challenge, I pushed myself to confront it head-on rather than retreating. Whether it was pitching a bold new idea, negotiating with a tough supplier, or navigating a complicated business scenario, I learned to face my fears instead of letting them control me. The more I tackled these situations, the more my confidence grew.

What’s more, I stopped seeking validation from others. My worth wasn’t contingent on their approval or acceptance. I started trusting my instincts and relying on my own judgment. Every decision I made became a stepping stone toward building a life and business that I believed in. I made peace with the possibility of failure, viewing it not as a disaster but as a valuable learning experience. Each setback was an opportunity to grow stronger and wiser.

Over time, I shed the weight of fear and found a newfound sense of freedom and empowerment. I embraced the mindset that my journey is my own, and no one else’s opinion has the power to steer it. With fear no longer holding me back, I found the courage to pursue my goals with unwavering determination and clarity.

Conclusion

Growth is a journey filled with ups and downs, but each twist and turn is essential to becoming who you’re meant to be. My transformation from being overly sensitive to standing strong and confident didn’t happen overnight. It took countless moments of self-reflection, perseverance, and the courage to step out of my comfort zone. The challenges I faced were the catalysts that pushed me to discover my true potential and redefine my self-worth.

Starting my own business was a monumental step in this journey. It forced me to trust my instincts and make decisions without second-guessing myself. Every obstacle I encountered became a lesson in resilience and creativity. The sleepless nights, the financial struggles, and the uncertainty were all part of the process that shaped me into a more determined and capable individual.

Living and working in China amplified this growth. Immersing myself in a new culture taught me to adapt quickly and think on my feet. The experience broadened my horizons and helped me realize that there’s more to life than the narrow perspectives and judgments of others. It showed me that my value isn’t determined by external opinions but by my own actions and achievements.

Letting go of fear was another crucial step. It wasn’t easy to confront my anxieties and push through them, but doing so was liberating. I learned to face challenges head-on, embrace failure as a learning opportunity, and trust my judgment. This newfound confidence allowed me to focus on what truly matters—building a life and business that align with my values and aspirations.

Today, I’m proud of the person I’ve become. I no longer seek validation from others or let their criticisms define me. Instead, I rely on my own strength and vision to guide me. This journey has taught me that true growth comes from within, and the most important opinion is your own.

Call to Action

To all of you grappling with self-doubt and the weight of others' expectations, it's time to take charge of your journey. Reflect on where you are and where you want to be. What’s holding you back? Identify those barriers and start dismantling them one by one. Your growth and self-worth aren't defined by anyone but you. It's not about proving yourself to others; it's about discovering your own strength and potential.

Take a moment to think about your aspirations. What steps can you take today to move closer to your goals? It could be as simple as setting a small, achievable milestone, or as bold as taking a leap of faith into uncharted territory. Remember, every action you take towards your own path is a victory in itself.

Don't shy away from the discomfort that growth brings. Embrace it. Let it shape you and build your resilience. Trust in your judgment and learn from every experience, whether it leads to success or failure. Each step forward is progress, and each setback is a lesson.

I encourage you to share your thoughts and experiences. What challenges have you faced? How have you overcome them? Your story could be the motivation someone else needs to take their own first step. Let’s build a community where we lift each other up and celebrate our collective journeys towards self-worth and personal growth.

Comment below with your reflections, plans, and any advice you have for others navigating similar paths. Let's inspire each other to break free from doubt and live authentically. Your journey is unique, and your insights are invaluable. I can't wait to hear your stories!

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